This is where I will post some honest feelings that are going on in my
life, our lives, etc! recently I’m finding it hard to find peace in the
present. I have such big dreams for myself my business (and blog), and
other things… I find it difficult on the daily to just slow down and
take it all in. I always seem to find myself in a rush to get to the
next best thing… the next milestone with a project, the next big break
for our my business plans or blog the next “woo hoo!”. I’m always too
focused on the finished product to enjoy the journey and experience.
It could very well be a result of my age, and my immaturity peeking
through. I don’t consider myself to be overly experienced or anything
but I also don’t like to discount what I have accomplished at 18, The
thing that hangs me up though? How much else is left to accomplish! haha
It’s a vicious cycle, but luckily one that keeps me on my toes. I try to
cram so much into 24 hours that I feel exhausted, frustrated, and often
times overwhelmed (yet that’s no one’s fault but my own). I get asked
pretty often how I manage to “do it all” and believe me… I don’t! More
than I care to admit goes unfinished. Things fall to the back-burner and
then I’m left thinking “Ugh, why did I let that happen?” I’m constantly
on the prowl for a scheduling system that will allow me to be as
efficient as possible all the while saving me my sanity. I stress so
much about completing things and getting them where I want them that I
don’t even enjoy doing them. Worrying about seeing all my friends, I
don’t enjoy it as much. That’s ridiculous!
I want to learn to be present in the moment. I am after all ONLY 18, I
have plenty of time to do it all, I just want it all now!!
I’m starting to really prioritize things in my life and deciding what
means the most to me. Everything from my current job situation to
friends and where I hope to see where I will be in the next 5 years.
Sometimes it’s thinking like this that gets me so riled up (and off
track with the present) but I’m hoping if I can have a defined set of
ideals and goals then I’ll be able to stop stressing about them so much.
All in all, I often feel like I wear entirely too many “hats”… and I
hate hats (Figurative and literal hats, respectively, that is. I have an
oddly shaped head…) I’m ready to cut down on the non-sense and things
that don’t help get me to where I’m going. It’ll be hard and it’ll be
scary, but I want to be able to enjoy each and every day that comes my
Another thing that seems to come along with this feeling is never being
satisfied. I’m not satisfied with the current traffic for the blog or my
living situation, or whatever… but they’re great. The blog is doing
awesome, my house is a home… but I constantly want to obsess over
moving out, taking the blog to the next level now. All things that
really don’t even need a second-look right now. It’s like the opposite
of the Peter-Pan Syndrome… how do I make it stop!? haha
How about you? How do you combat the “I just wanna grow up” feeling?
Love and Peter Pan Dreams,
Twitter – @itsraimz